Fear is something we all experienced. What would your life be like if you weren’t letting your fear hold you back? Do you still remember the feeling you had in your first job interview? How did you feel when you confessing your love to a girl? I am sure you were trying your very best to move forward with something positively, but you still get held back by fear.
So, what fear is holding you back?
Your fears can take different forms. You may experience fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of being broke, or fear of being not good enough. When you have these fears, you would tend to think to yourself, “What if I say the wrong words and they would angry with me?”, “What if I failed in what I am pursuing and I backslide?”
Do you have these fears? I have and I still have it today.
But if you sit down and think about it, having the fear is natural. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. It is very sad if you letting the fear stop you from going after your dream. Even the most successful people like Steve Jobs, Jackie Chan, Michael Jordan, et al. they have the same fears. But they don’t let it hold them back.
“Don’t let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen. “ ~ Doe Zantamata
How to overcome your fear?
If you are looking for step by step program to overcome your fear, I can tell you that there is no such program. However, there are many advices and tips you can get it online from internet or offline from books. Here is what I have learned and I think it is quite useful.
Accept fear as part of your life
Most people try to get rid of their fear instead of trying to accept it. We are human, having the fear is normal. Why don’t you accept it and embrace it? Fear is the main factor keep you stuck. It keeps you not moving forward. However, being afraid doesn’t mean that you should always stop. Don’t let your fear hold you back. It could be a learning experience for you to move forward and recognize that the things you fear are not as dangerous as you think.
Facing your fear
After you accepted that fear is natural and fear is normal but you are still afraid of it. This is because you have not make yourself to face your fears. You must expose yourself to your fears. For example, you wish to learn to swim but you afraid of water. You take swimming lessons every week and practises putting your feet and legs in the water, then the whole body and, finally, diving underwater. Exposure involves gradually and repeatedly going into feared situations until you feel less anxious. After a while, your anxiety will naturally lessen.
Don’t try to be perfect
Perfection can be exhausting and unrelenting. When you try to be perfect, you are turning on the tape that fill your head with the message “I am not good enough” and “What will people think about me?” You start to afraid that you will fail because you think that you are not good enough. You start to care about what will people think about you. All this increase your anxiety and your stress. Indirectly it affects your confidence level and held you back by fear.
If you want to learn swimming but you afraid of water, you fear failure. This is because you are not prepared, you are not trained, you have no knowledge in swimming. All these unknown factors create fears to you and the fear hold you back. What you must do is start to plan and get all skills and info you need, then practice. Yes, practice, practice and practice!
Getting support from friends and loved ones
All fears are worse when you face them alone. Find a good friend or loved one to share your fears with. They may be able to help you see what you are afraid of in a new light and they will be there to support you and encourage you as you take steps to face your fears.
Remember, don’t let your fear hold you back, you can conquer your fear!
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” – Bertrand Russell
To Your Success,
Kwah Choon Hiong